Agitate, listen, ask: the engine of a 1:1

After the story exchange, a 1:1 runs on three moves that repeat: agitate, listen, ask. Done well, these turn a conversation into a commitment.

Agitate, in the organizing sense, doesn't mean 'make angry' — it means surfacing the gap between what is and what should be. You ask a question that helps the person name what is unjust about a situation they have already been describing. 'When you say your kid's school doesn't have a librarian — is that what you think a school should look like?'

Listen, especially for the second answer. People often give a polished public answer first; the real answer comes 20 seconds later when you sit in the silence. Don't fill it. Let them.

Ask — a clear, concrete, small first request. 'Would you come to a house meeting at Tasha's on the 14th, where eight other parents will be talking about this?' Or 'Would you let me come to your block club's next meeting and listen?' If the ask is too big, you'll get a polite no. If it's too vague, you'll get a maybe that means no. Specificity is respect.

Run agitate-listen-ask 2-3 times in a good 1:1. Each cycle deepens what you know and brings the person closer to a concrete commitment.